Mrs. Newlywed had made only a limited amount of progress with her cooker "Dearest," she said one morning to her husband, "what shall I cook for dinner today?"
"Anything except steak and kidney pudding, said her tactless husband. hat's my favourite dinner, Bedmates Tis story is told of an American Judge, who had to sleep with an Irishman in a crowded hotel.
"Pat," said the Judge, "you would have remained a long time in the old country before you could have slept with a Judge.
es, Your Honour," replied Pat, and I think your Honour would have been a long time in the old centry before ye'd been a Judge."
How To Clean The Canary's Cage Oren door of canary's cage, insert hand and beckon to canary.
Withdraw hand and held injured finger under tap. Ask little Albert what the joke is.
Hold little Albert under tap.
Place heap of birdseed outside door of cage and whistle to canary.
Explain to whippet, no, you're not going to take him for walk, you were only whistling canary.
Lash whippet to leg of table.
Lash little Albert, Observe that canary has slipped out of cage behind your back and is sneering at you from top shelf of pantry.
Sneer back at canary.
Climb on to chair and at-attempt to coax canary down with kind words Attempt to coax canary down with coal-shovel, Step backwards off chair as canary kicks out viciously with left leg.
Tell little Albert to wipe the grin off his face.
Wipe grin off little Albert's face yourself, and a good deal of chocolate with it.
Remount chair and start climbing towards canary.
Tread in bowl of trifle.
Knock Sunday joint off shelf.
Laugh as whippet's antics with Sunday joint.
Suspect that shelf is giving under your weight, Get little Albert's confirmation that shelf is, indeed, giving under your weight.
Crash backwards, clutching assorted groceries, Regain consciousness, Notice canary back in cage, still sneering, Ignore little Albert's reminder that you haven't cleaned the cage yet, have you?
Powder sufficient glass for canary's lunch.
Feed canary.
Leave home.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.