Sonicrron at Highgate: Have you been cycling on and off for fifteen years?
Cyclist: Yes; I can't keep my balance.
Constable: After a chase I succeeded in stopping the defendant, and I told him I should summon him. He said, "You are hereby dismissed your ship."
Police witness: The motorist agreed his vehicle was making excessive noise, and said, sometimes try to drown the noise with a song."
Ode to Winter in Tsingtao Our Tripper friends have parted, And returned to other shores, Like flocks of geese they've flighted, And left us to our chores.
But now the booze is cheaper, For the Club has cut its squeeze, And now there's space to do it. We can play and drink at ease.
So pine not for the parted, Who only came and spent.
Make merry with your fellows, Who stay and pay the rent.—Dum Vivimus Vivamus.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.