Mrs. Newbegin had just made the acquaintance of Mrs, Suburbanite, and exchanges of confidences were being made. Each was wondering what the husband of the other was like. Mrs, N. put the direct query "Is your husband a rather short man, "Always!" replied she with a significant sigh.
Don't be a Bore Saw the smart little waitress tripping up beside the customer—" have got devilled kidneys, calves' brains, pigs' feet, chick livers, and "Forget it," growled the diner. "Ive got a headache, fallen arches, corns, a bunion, three warts, and an empty stomach. Tell your troubles to someone else, and bring me some hem and egg:
The Aspirate Again In reply to the question, "From which animal do we get ham?" an observant, if slightly incorrect schoolboy wrote:—"We do not get ham from any animal It grows on a bush, which is very dangerous to people who are passing. We often read of travellers in foreign countries being caught in an ambush and killed."
Misconstrued Tur young wife watched ber husband gazing down at her first-born. Expressions of wonder, delight, and incredulity passed across his face. The proud mother stole up to the equally proud father and whispered tenderly:—"Tell me your thoughts, darling."
"Hanged if I can see how anyone can make a cot like that for a quid, came the reply.
Simple Simon The wind blows gently over the lough, And the burn croons softly over the stone, And the scent of the peat is a joy to the nose, And a moorbird coughs like an ancient crone—And I lie on the broad of my back, And gaze into God's good sky. And think what a sensible world it would be If all were as busy as I!
1-have wonderful thoughts im the back of mu head, I And they'll turn themselves into verse one day—But they're not about wars, or the rumours of wars, Or Left or Right, or the ination's And T fic on the broad of my back, swa
And gaze into God's good sky, And muse on the peace there would be in the world If all were as simple as I!
Drmic HARRIS.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.