THE commercial traveller entered the business house. He was confronted by a very junior clerk. The traveller looked him over haughtily.
'd like to see someone with a little authority, remarked.
"Well, what can I do for you?" replied the boy calmly. "I've about as little authority as anybody here.
5 9
Intelligence A teacher had explained to his pupils all about a British consulate, and to find out when ther or not they understood, he asked:
"N someone carried you off in an aeroplane, and thousands of miles away in a foreign country, what place would you seek out first of all?"
One bright boy answered immediately.
"Please, sir, the hospital!" came the unex pected reply.
Flash in the Pan "Yrs, old man," said the meek-looking little man, "I took your advice and told my wife straight out that she couldn't henpeck me any more."
His friend patted him on the back.
"Splendid!" he said. "Now you can hold your head up."
The little man winced.
"Yes," he replied doubtfully, "but it's still pretty sore and bruised."
Forgotten Man Tur professor was looking over his notes preparatory to beginning the lecture, The hall was crowded, and two undergraduates were heatedly discussing politics in one corner.
Suddenly one of them turned to the other and said loudly: "Well, of all the craziest, stupid fools I've ever met—you take the cake!"
Just then the professor took his seat and, banging on the desk, said sharply: "Excuse me, gentlemen, you forget that I am in the room."
Large and Small THE mighty engines of the liner throbbed ceaselessly. The chief engineer wiped a damp forehead, and scowled at the young man with the oil-cün.
"Look here," he growled, "you aren't helping me much with these engines, yet you said you knew something about the game."
"So I do" replied the other, "but on a smaller scale, you know."
"What's your usual job?"
"Watch repairing!"
The Scottish Way Two Scotsmen had ventured into the wilds, and what they lacked in experience they made up for in zeal.
On their first night in the jungle the dismal howling of a wolf disturbed their rest. Presently Macpherson rose to his feet, seized his rifle, and said: "Ah'll bet you an ounce of tobacco I kill that darned wolf Some time later he returned, dragging a dead wolf, MacTavish grudgingly parted with an ounce of tobacco, and they settled down agai Just before dawn another howl rent the a MacTavish nudged his companion, "Give me that tobacco back, Ye've killed the wrang oriel"
A Bumper HE was a prize-fighter who won his last bout many years ago; he entered a barber's shop and sat himself in a chair, A newly-hired barber ütted an apron around the boxer—and then studied the bushy head of hair that hung practically to his shoulders.
"Hair-cut and shave?" asked the barber politely.
"No hair-cut," growled the boxer. "Just a shave."
The proprietor hurried over.
You fool!" he whispered to the new employee, "you should never ask that man if he wants a hair-cut, That's Horizontal Shaw, the fighter."
The new barber appeared flustered.
"B-but look at that crop of hair," he stai regret, "That man certainly needs a hair-cut The proprietor grunted.
"Sure he needs a hair-cut," he admitted, "but f he gets one, what's he genua use for a cushion when he hits the floor?"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.