A STEWARD stood at the gangway of a liner giving instructions to the arriving passengers. "First-class to the left, second to the right," he repeated at intervals. A young woman stepped aboard with a baby in her arms. As she hesitated before the steward he leaned forward and smi ed politely, "First or second, madam? he asked.
"Oh, d, "n-neither! I'm only the Well, Well, Well!
Two men started out in business at the same time and in adjacent shops. The first man was laundryman, and the second an undertaker.
The laundry man had an elaborate illuminated sign put outside his shop. bearing the legend:
"WE STIFFEN COLLARS."
"The undertaker, not to be outdone, also had an illuminated sign put outside his premises, and his statement to the world was:
"WE COLLAR STIFFUNS."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.