ASKED by his teacher to explain the meaning of the phrase, "Out of sight, out of mind," a little boy replied: "Please, teacher, a blind imcecile."
Science "Burt, doctor, you gave me an entirely ditferent diagnosis yesterda; "That just goes to show, madam, how rapidly medical science advances, The Irish Macistnate (to Irish witness)—"You say the accused threatened you?"
Witness—"Indade, he did! He said, "I'll whitewash the yard wid yer blood Her Reply "Pretty late home weren't you—was the wife annoyed,"
"Was she annoyed! "I'll say she was! She left a note, "Slippers in the refrigerator.
Past Paying For Visitor (groping across a Highland moor): "Tm lost"
Jock: "Is there a reward oot for ye?" Visits "No."
Jock: "Well we're still lost."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.