Different Names A "Do you have much variety at your boarding+ house?"
"Well, we have three different names for the meals," cee "Bore" War Some are still trying to give this war a label, The latest suggestion comes from. Lady Chichester, who says that in Somerset they are calling it the "Bore" War—not bad for the moment, 1
Gas Meter Tuere is the story of the family duly equipped according to A.R.P, requirements and travelling by train when suddenly the youngest member of the party exclaims: "Oh, teacher! Can I put my gas meter on?'
Household Hints Have you caught your profiteer yet?
Your "courage, your cheerfulness, your resolution" will count ior nothing, Low cunning should be employed, Grease heavily a stretch of pavement outside your front door. Sit down on the step and jingle some money, This will attract the profiteer, who will sneak up like a rat in the
self, blackout, slip on the grease, fall and stun him-'Then telephone to your local decontamination squad, 8 8
Murder Anp, talking of book-reviews, I see that space often is devoted to thrillers, writes Showman in the "Daily Herald."
For one glorious moment I thought that the Ministry of Information, or whatever it is now, had developed some nerve, and issued a com= paratively informative war communique.
But, oh—as the B.B.C, announcer would say, after an ear-splitting crash—I find I have slip-slipped on a piece of orange-peel and fallen into seriousness, So sorry, Let me recapture a chuckle with the thought that, while the Victory medal for 1914-1919 is inscribed "The Great War for Civilization." the next one will commemorate "The Great Civilization for War."
Countess is Beaten Ir is with some regret that one records the end of the Dowager Lady Clanbridget's attempts to resuscitate her famous tricycle, Recently wearied of pedalling off in entirely unexpected directions, she procured: a horse and harnessed it to the handle-bars, She mounted the machine, shook the reins, and said, "Coop!" But nothing happened.
An onlooker, in the crowd which has been frequenting Clanbridget. House, then said, "What sort of a horse is that, lady?" "A coal-cart horse, I believe," said Lady Clanbridget, "Ar," said the onlooker, "then you want ter sye' Coal No sooner had the magic word been spoken than the horse moved off, But, the next moment, the whole tricycle collapsed, and Lady Clanbridget was deposited in the, wreckage
sight, i while the horse and handle-bars plodded out of And this time the crowd was too moved to do anything but disperse in silence, Sex in War ALREADY sex is rearing its ugly head in this war, ticks, and it is rumoured that in Glamorgan several land girls have been detected talking to the licentious soldiery, writes Lane-Norcott in the "Daily Mail,"
Fortunately, Mrs, Grudge, the chairwoman of the Segregation of the Sexes in War-time Society, has several meddlesome schemes for circumventing this unseemly fraternizing with the troops, Among the more fatuous are the following The compulsory wearing of flannel cash-mahs by all members of the Women's Land Army, The passing of a new emergency law empowering policewoman to give the command "Eyes front!" to soldiers whenever land girls walk by.
The erection of high screens or fences around all fields in which land girls are working. Çhaperons to accompany land girls when off The formation of a Corps of Agricultural
duty,
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.