Germany's radio ammouncer§ continue to broadcast "ration recipes" to the German housewife. Not to be outdone, the speaker on the Austrian Freedom radio in Paris has also broadcast a recipe to Austrian housewives—for a Wiener Schnitzel, a veal dish regarded as a great delicacy by Austrians, "Take your meat card," said the announcer, "tear it into small pieces and place in the frying pan. Add your fat and eggs cards, which should be put through the mincer and well stirred. Put your coal card under the pan and try slowly. This should produce an excellent Wiener Schnitzel.
"For coffee." added the announcer, "we advise you to mix your coffee card with your milk card, Gourmets who like their coffee sweet should dissolve their sugar cards in it." ron On the Home Front Ir has been rightly decided in high quarters that a lady of commissioned rank is entitled to the courtesy of a salute from a sentry of the opposite sex, should she be wearing her full military regalia at the time, writes Lane-Norcott in the "Daily Mail"
It the lady of commissioned rank happens to be what the Australians used to call "a bonze tabby" then we think the sentry might even pay her the additional courtesy of a harmless compliment as well For instance, while presenting arms, he might remark enthusiastically: "It is indeed a pleasure, made for me to salute so alluring a member of his Majesty's Forces as yourself. 1t I may say so without appearing to fawn, that little forage cap in nigger, with the chic wee badge in the front, suit you to perfection. So pass, madame, and all's well."
Remember this, though, sentries, Never salute or flatter a lady Captain of a Fire Brigade or you may easily turn her pretty head. Then She will always be snatching off her helmet to preen herself in its shiny surface and, in consequence, the fires will be terribly neglected.
Chat with the Awful Child "Wuar is a Minister Without Portfolio?" "Just a Minister without a portfolio." "Why hasn't he got a portfolio?"
"Because they didn't give him a portfolio." "Who didn't?"
"The Government, of course."
"Have all the other Ministers got portfolios?" "I believe so."
"Then why didn't they give him one?" "Perhaps there are not enough portfolios to round."
"Well, why pick on him?"
"Somebody has to be picked on." "Perhaps he's been naughty?"
"I wouldn't be surprised."
"What's he been doing?"
"Ah-ha, I wouldn't like to say."
Why: "Because I don't know."
"Perhaps it's because of something he hasn't done?
"That's much more likely." "What hasn't he done?"
"Ask the Prime Minister."
"Does the Prime Minister take away portfolios from Ministers who have been naughty?" "TI say he does."
"Do they cry?"
"Cry? They howl, It's pathetic."
"What do they keep in the port-folios?" "A change of socks and pictures of actresses." "Why a change of socks?"
"Why pictures of actresses?"
"Perhaps they love the actresses."
"They do."
"But why the socks?"
"In case they have to go away for the weekend."
"With whom:
Never mind with whom."
"Does this one without a portfolio have to go away for the week-end without a change of socks?"
"And without the actresses?" "I said pictures of actresses." "Well, without the pictures of actresses?" "I didn't say he had any." "Well, who has?"
"I don't know, "Well, if they have pictures of actresses and the Prime Minister takes away their portfolios, what happens to the pictures of the actresses?"
"They leave them about for their wives to see." hat. happens: then?"
"Then they have something to cry about,"
Gubbins in the "Sunday Express."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.