Two fat old ladies from the Goswell-road were waiting their turn in a hospital outpatients' department, and several students were chaffing them good-naturally about their generous inches.
"My husband doesn't like me being fat," said the gloomy one, "an if e' sees me comin' round the corner 'e turns is back on me."
But the other chirped up: "My husband likes me bein' fat....says I keeps the wind orf of "imt"
Why Time curate of a fashionable church was endeavouring to teach the significance of white to a Sunday-school class.
"Why," said he, "does a bride invariably desire to be clothed in white at her marriage?' As no one answered he explained, "White, said he, "stands for joy, and the wedding day is the most joyous occasion of a woman's life."
A small boy queried: "Why do the men all wear black?"
Aha!
Ture is nothing a cop likes better than to catch someone in a lie. Our favourite instance of this sort is the time a traffic policeman in the town of North Woodstock, New Hampshire, stopped a car for speeding, The driver was a woman, "Where you from?" the cop demanded, "Philadelphia," replied the lady.
The cop put on his wise look and nodded his head. "Oh, so you're from Philadelphia, eh?" he said sarcastically, "Well if you're from Philadelphia what cha doin' with them Pennsylmania license plates?"
Dustman Oxe day my husband was left in the house alone said a lady. told him that no one was likely to call end that the milk jug would be put Outside as usual for the milkman. Soon after I had gone, he heard the bell, but took no notice. After it had rung several times he went to the door and shouted, "Put it in the jug! Put it in the jug!"
But the bell still rang....He began to get cross and shouted, "Put it in the jug, I say. Can't yeu hear me'
Then, as he looked outside, a head appeared ever the wall. it wes the dustman!
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.