He was very small and rather timid, ud was being examined for lie insurance. "You don't dissipate, do you?" asked the doctor. "You're not a fast liver or a heavy drinker, or anything of that sort?"
The little man hesitated for a moment, and then replied nervously, "Well—er—I sometimes chew a little gum!"
Well, FU Tell You—I wisn these foreign countries would settle their disputes and settle down, I'm afraid if we keep on bearm' so much about their troubles over there, it's genua get us nervous on this side, too, People are a whole lot like chickens. They'll go along quietly in a bunch, picking' up corn but the minute they get excited, they all scatter out.
I went to get a job down home one fime,-and the merchant says "I hope you'll stay with me—the last folia I had on this job stayed 43 years and quit."
I says "What did he quit for?" and the merchant says "Well, he was one of them nervous, excitable folias that wanted to be on the go' all the time y Bob Burns Family Tree asylum inmate was forever looking in the mirror addressing his mirror image as "Grandfather," and speaking of himself as the image's grandson. A fellow resident asked him how it came about, and received this reply.—"I married a widow with a grown daughter. My father soon fell in love with my stepdaughter and married her, thus becoming my son-in-law. And my step-daughter became my step-mother "because she was my father's: wife.
"My wife had a son, who was, of course, "my father's brother-in-law, and also uncle, for he was the brother of my step-mother. My father's wife became the mother of a son, who was my brother and also my grandchild, for he was the son of my daughter.
"Accordingly, my wife was my grandmother, because she was my mother's mother. I was my wife's husband and grandchíld at the same time, and as the husband of a person's grandmother is his grandfather, I am my own grandfather!"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.