A Prisoner was being tried for larceny at Limerick Assizes. The case^was a strong one, and the judge showed by his summing-up that he believed in the prisoner's guilt, but the jury gave the man the benefit of the doubt and acquitted him, Whereupon the judge said:
"Prisoner at the bar, it would be a straining of language to describe. your past career as creditable, but this most intelligent jury has been pleased to acquit you of the last crime laid to your charge, and you now leave this court without any additional stain on your character."
Non Compos Mentis Ar the last moment a man phoned his hostess that he was rather drunk and could not attend her dinner that night.
He happened to be a handsome and very popular fellow, and she implored him to take a cold bath and come along. A short time later he turned up, in the right clothes, and was able to carry himself off as brilliantly as ever.
The next morning, she was astonished to receive a note from him saying he was so sorry for not having turned up at her party the night before, but he had been suddenly called out of town on urgent business and that was why he could not attend her dinner.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.