He was very old, and, as he was nearly always alling, the neighbours were surprised when they saw him hobbling down the street on a. cold morning. "How are you keeping?" an acquaint ance asked him.
"Oh," he returned sourly, "this is one of my: 'sood mornings, I've only got my' rheumatics and lumbago, my neuritis and sciatica, and these new boots hurting my feet"
Did Noah Know?
'Ax Army man was having diffeulty in trying to coax two mules up a gang plank to a snip, 'Just when his patience was exhausted, and was letting off a stream of profanity, a curate same on the scene, and asked if he' could be of any help.
The soldier, taking stock of the newcomer, and then of his fractious charges, said, Can you tell me how Noah got two of thes blue pencil perishers into the Ark?"
Gelting a Seat Tue bus was crowded. Two sprightly girls entered, and one, standing beside a young man who was seated, said to her friend, "You Just watch how I get that chap's seal." Then she bent toward the young man, saying in a delight. ful tone, "Oh, Mi. Jones, it's a pleasure to meet you again."
'A Dig silence.
Then the young man got, up, saying:—"Yes, do sit down, Bridget. I don't often see you out fon washing-day. Is the laundry closed, Damaged Goods Tue manager of the provision store had three large cheeses on his hands which were not very fresh. At last he had. a brain-wave. When closing-time approached he instructed his assist-fant to put one of them in the back-yard to soe if-anyone would take it during the night, The assistant did so, and next morning he reported that the cheese had disappeared. That evening the second. cheose was deposited in the yard, Jand in the morning that also had gone.
On the third evening the remaining cheese carried out.
"Well," said the manager next morning, rubbing his hands in satisfaction, "I suppose we've got rid_ of the third cheese?"
"No," was the reply, "and the other two have Shanghai from South China by the noted bot fanist, Robert, Fortune, and planted in the Grounds of H.BAM's, Consulate-General in the early days of the Settlement. We are open to correction regarding this; but there docs appear fo be some truth in the statement for some "specimens still. exist in. the Consulate {grounds and" also in that portion of the Bund Gardens which, in the early days, formed part of the Consulate grounds. The trees are colloquially Known as Canton Magnolias: a Ihybrid being known as Soochow Magnolia, this home means litre however, for many hybrids exist. The tree is fairly easy to raise from seed and as thousands of seeds are produced an~ ually by each tree, it Is reasonable to assume that Seed Was collected from Fortune's trees and sown at Soochow. During the past sixty. Years or so, numerous varieties have been pro~ Guced and most of these are easily identified by their foliage; the,' are also not so floriferous og the original species. The local privet Ligustrum tuctdum is starting to bloom, There are other species grown locally; but they are of suflciently. interesting for these notes. The privet is not unattractive when covered with Mowers; but many people remove these owing to the annual privet cough scare. The [plant is used as a stock for Wlae, the majority Of lilaes fo be sven im local gardens are gratted fon to the priver—w.k.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.