"WHEN I were going to my work, I called for Bill, my mate, and there he were using his two-foot measure under door to get his key back, as he had forgot to lock door.
"So I told him to throw some gravel at window and waken his misses to come down and push key back to him, "What a chump, eh?"
Proof Tae newlyweds had just got off their train, "John, dear," said the bride, "lets try make the people think we've been married a long time."
"All right, hone: carry the suitcases, was the answer, "you Grand "Di you have a good time at the party last night, dear?" asked the wife at breakfast, "Oh, grand!" eried her spouse enthusiastically. 4 "What did you do?"
"Isn't that just like a woman? Would it have been grand if I could remember what we did?"
6 Brutal Sport Tne sub-editor came into the editor's office. "A correspondent has sent this report of a cock-fight, with full details and some marvellous photographs," he informed his chief.
"That's fine," replied the editor, "Put it into the next issue.
"But," protested the sub, "surely we can't publish it? You know what our readers are. They're sure to object"
"Perhaps you're right" admitted the editor. "But put it in, just the same, Head it 'A Brutal Sport! Where are he Police?"
Senator Soaper Says—Wuar is anyone showing for samples these days, when selling civilization to the untutored savage?
Students of racial characteristics are amazed at late happenings on the Utah salt flats. The English have been muddling through at six miles a minute, In the Far East we find Babe Tokyo stepping, up to the plate once more with three bats, ant China backing up like the centrefielder in a park with no fence, "You have only one ambition and one privily ego," thunders the Duce, "and. that is to bear arms in defence of your country!"
Laundry workers in the west are refused an injunction, and we hope to be among the first hundred to report a lost union suit, A Hines trial witness said he didn't know all the alphabet—"just from A to Z," At that, he'll do better than many a stadium usher, A Western heir finds $1,870 tucked away in an old Bible, So much for our writers' plaint that there is no money these days in good litperature.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.