the Family "Now. my little man." said the conjuror to the small boy from the audience, "you don't know me, do you?" "No, dad," replied the boy.
No Choice Wiuxt was the name of that pianoforte selec your daughter pla her father sadly. ies the only thing. she knows."
Bosses Wino's boss at your house?"
Well, my wife and T share the job, She bosses ihe servants, the children and me. I boss. the goldfish."
Stupid aaa "Is it true that you sailors have a sweets heart in every. port?"
He: "=stupia idea—why, we don't call at every: port."
Defined large office.": Success "Ay husband is an efcieney expert ina
"What does an efcieney expert dot"
"wel, if we women did ity they call it Starting Price finish, haven't they. dear?
Wife: Present-day clothes have a splendid
thing awful, Husband: Yes, Bt the starting price is some-in Court Ox day when Sir Walter Ratelgh was asking a favour. Queen Elizabeth said to him, "When will you cease to be a beggar?"
When Your Majesty leaves of bestowing was the reply.
"Turn it Down'
"Do you like this hat turned dows "Hox much is it" "Out £3, "Yes! Turn it dows Common Sense Maxacrn: What! You want another week off? You've just returned from your vacation.
Clerk: But T want to get married, si Manager: Couldn't you get-married. during your vacation?
work: 1 didn't want to spoll my vacation, Cinematic Tue So-and-So's had paid a visit to some friends. When they had gone, their hostess re~ marked to her husband—"They are charming people. Don't you think the son is the pleturo Of, his father 'Yes," he answered, "and the daughter is just the talkie of her' mother."
Learnt Fast Fare: "I soe that Johnnie is learning fast, You remember I gave him a talk on Give anc [Take"? Well, today, 1 saw a practical demons stration of how hemis applying the doctrine."
Mother: borne fruit.
Father: "He gave another youngster a crack Jon the nose, and then took hit scooter!"
A Mark Twain Mu. Brown was sitting down to breakfast one morning when he was astounded to seo in the paper an announcement of his death, He rang up, his friend, Smith, "Hello, Smith," he said, "have you soon the announcement of my death in the paper?"
"Er—yes," replied Smith, "where are you tathing from Something New He was studying a ord. cat alone of gramophone think TH get this one." he remarked, in-leating the title, Chopin Polonaise in A Plat. mushed. reading over his Not What He Meant Tue minister called at the croft one aay to baptize the shepherd's chil.
"Are yo prepared" he asked Don:
"Aye." was the ready response, "I've got a iamb in for denner."
"But I mean "are you spiritually prepared?"
ave, meenister. There's a quart jut the kitchen, How Very Catehing! host the "Hongkong Telegraph One cent was the opening, bid made bya souvenis hunter" (or a°plague of Hiller at the public auction o¢ goods at the German Club this morning. Ht finally brought $2. The auction was Conducted by Messrs. Lammert & Ca, anda sum Bround $000 "was really We have heard Hitler called many things, but not that.
Open-Work Shoes 'Tur: darks's clothes were in the last stages of dilapidation, "and he. wore open-work shoes, Dut his face' was radiant and he whistled merrily us he slouched along the street. A howcholder called from his porch "Sam, T have a job for you, If you want to sam a' quarter."
The tattered coloured man grinned happily as ihe, shook iis head, "No, sub, thanke yuh all de somme, boss—T done
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.