AMONG the things that puzzle me," mused Mrs, Thrupperley MacNess—"Is to read that crinoline frocks are back, while all that I see are backless."
Live Wires A woman in Portland, Oregon, has been granted a divorce because her husband talked in his sleep. Newest correspondence course in Portland, Oregon: "How To Talk in Your Sleep. In Six Simple Lessons."
Surplus Women Accorpinc to the Minneapolis Shopper's Guide, A commodity called a bride Has been overproduced by Kindly Mother Natcher, Who is always anxious to mate yer And provide a reasonable choice for us boyce. The Minneapolis Shopper's Guide says the world has now A surplus population of three hundred million spinsters who can never hope to be called Mrs, Madame or Frau, Which suggests that Old Mother Nature either planned polygamy, Or bigamy, Proving she is not only old but nasty-minded Or blinded To the true conception of goodness and beauty And duty.
When too much coffee was produced for the world's coffee pot They burned a lot, Instead. of giving it away To those who were too poor to drink it every lay.
But what can you do with three hundred million surplus women? You can meither give them away nor burn em, Unless it is to learn em, Though learn them what, my dear, haven't the slightest idea.
You all know the fate that awaits yer When you go against Mother Natcher. She has a nasty habit Of making a repressed rabbit Mad Or bad, And what she can do to rabbits and other vermin Is child's play to what she can to unmarried vermin, She can (and does) make them join societies To make happy savages conform to the proprieties Of Upper Tooting Or Little Footling Or wherever it is they bicker For the favour of an unmarried and angmic vicar.
And when thoroughly annoyed Mother Nature can go one better than Freud, Turning an otherwise healthy-minded spinster Into something sinister.
But, my hat, We can't go into that, Can we, Mrs. Fotheringay-Whimperly?
—Gubbins in the "Sunday Express."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.