Irare mother: "I distinctly told those twà daughters of mine not to go cycling in that Bet-up, and they've gone."
Neighbour: "Tandem?"
Irate mother: "No, but just wait until they get back."
Curious "Witar time do you finish, mister?" asked the boy at the railway Booking office, E "why do you want to know that, my lad?" asked the clerk.
"I what to wait and see how you get through that hole!" explained the boy.
Colourful Man WHEN a man is rebellious we call him Red. When he is afraid we call him Yellow. When he is straight we call him White. When he is loyal we call him True Blue. When he is ignorant we call him Green. When he is devoid of sympathy we call him colourless, Wanted Its Name Lire Robert rushed intó the kitchen day and asked his mother what kind of piè she Was Making, "Lemon meringue pie," she answered.
The little fellow disappeared, but présehtly returned. "Mámma," fe asked, "what did you say is the pie's middle henie?"
All There "Now, children, I want you to write me an 'essay without a theme—just put down what is in you."
Ten ininütes later Jimmy handed in the following:
"In me there is a heart, a lung, an appendix. And then there is a stomach with two pieces of bread and Butter, an apple and five caramels."
Bit About Suet "Wuat," says à brisk headline elsewhere, "can be dobe with suet?"
But surely it should be, "What cannot Be done with suet?"
Sir Henry Egg hàs fashioned his speeches elt of it for years.
it is a. fascinating Subject.
One is tempted to pürsuet indefinitely.
In the Family Ins Tre daughter of à farmer was being courted by the son of another farmer, and neither parent was aware of it.
Eventually the man proposed, and was accepted, and later asked the girl's father fof his consent, which was readily given.
Next week the farmers met at market, and started bargaining, and the father of the young man remarked, "Oh, by the by, Sandy, I've got a big cant over at my place, an'"——" an' I'm gettin' him for a son-in-law shortly ^I ken, Davie, I ken put, in the other. was over at my place last week.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.