As a special constable I was patrolling my beat, says a Rotherham (Yorks) volunteer in the "Daily Herald," and had approached a passage between two blocks of houses, when a meek little man accosted me and said:
"Go up here to the third house on the left. You're sure to find a light in one of the windows."
I went round to the back. A powerful light was showing from a bedroom window, which was unobscured.
A buxom woman answered my knock on the door. After delivering the usual caution I made my way back down the passage.
"My new acquaintance was apologetic for having troubled me. He said: "That's my house you've been to. My misses might be more careful now that the police have been. She never would take any notice of me."
I was dumbfounded, and have since wondered what would happen it his wife discovered the informer.
"Alement"
Tue patient walked into the doctor's surgery. "Doc," he began, "I have a rather peculiar ailment. Do you think you can help me?"
"Perhaps," returned the medico modestly. Just what is the nature of your complaint?"
"Well," said the patient, "every night at 2 am. I start walking in my sleep. I want you to help cure me of this habit, because it's be-winning to cost me too much money."
The doctor looked perplexed.
"You say," he repeated, "that it's beginning o cost you too much money?"
"That's right," nodded the patient. "Í always walk to the nearest saloon. That's the whole trouble."
The doctor shook his head.
should you, when you're walking in your But I don't understand," he persisted. "Why always head for a saloon?"
The patient seemed a trifle annoyed.
"Qh, come now, doc," he murmured, "be seasonable, Where else cai I go at that hour cassonable. Where else 1939 Press Howlers
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