WHILE a German cargo steamer was unloading a cargo of condensed milk bound for China at Hongkong a case broke open and distributed upon the wharf several hundred Mauser cartridges.
Obviously in this case "milk" was a contract tion for "milk of human kindness, 1939 vintage."
Got Her Number 3
"Dw you get the number of that car that knocked you down, Madam?" asked the bystander, rushing up to the unfortunate woman.
*No," she gasped, "but the hussy who was driving it wore a three-piece tweed suit lined with canton crepe and she had on a periwinkle hat trimmed with artificial berries." de Almost Perfect "Is your married life a happy one?"
"Yes, I married the woman of my dreams. She is as beautiful to me as the day I met her. Her hands are always white and soft. Her hair is never untidy, and her dresses are always the latest."
"So you don't regret it?"
"No. but I'm getting pretty tired of eating in restaurants."
Half True "Wet," said the editor, "how about that spy story? Is it true?"
"No, sir," said the reporter.
"No facts at all:
"Not a chand "Everything denied?" I "Absolutely."
"Good heavens! Cut it down to half a page then." i One Similarity Herr Hitler has been likened to Napoleon but, whatever may be said, there is one thing which they seem to have in common, a hatred of the fragrant weed. In the case of Napoleon it was sheer inability to smoke.
On one occasion the Persian Ambassador presented him with a beautiful pipe' and, to show his appreciation of the gift, the Emperor had it filled and proceeded to smoke it in the presence of his guest.
It was foolhardy to say the least of it, for he was soon affected with physical and mental distress. As a result he decided that the French should have nothing to do with tobacco, and proceeded at ance to place a considerable tax on it, Vi. b, a Little Topical Talks: Rumouring Macas: Don't spread it around, old man, but I've just been told by a chap who got out of the country yesterday that Ruberia is going to march into Lubia tomorrow.
Bloggs: Gad! That's bad! Of course, you know we've got a secret treaty with Lubia, don't you? My sister-in-law had it direct from her cousin who's in the Embassy over there. Naturally, he made her promise not to mention it, but you know what women are.
Moggs: Incidentally, I heard from an absolutely reliable source—as a matter of fact we're selling stuff to their Government, so I'm more or less in the know—that Yungo-Bolivia are only waiting for the word.
Bloggs: A lot of our chaps are over there already, I'm told, A Moggs: You'd be surprised, old man! Take from me—and I've good reasons for saying it—Chodovostock harbour is simply stiff with troopships! B Bloggs: Keep it under your hat, old fellow, but a big bug in the Foreign Office—I won't mention his name for obvious reasons—told a pal of mine yesterday just what's behind that Russian business. Directly the show starts—it's timed for Wednesday—they're going to pull a fast one which, if it comes off, will make them top dog in Europe.
(A newsboy runs down the street below, calling, "All the winners and prices!")
Moggs: Good heavens, old man! There's another special out! That can only mean that he's marched, I'm afraid. Let's hurry downstairs quickly and hide in the basement!
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.