Saw the smart little waitress, tripping up to the customer, "I have devilled kidneys, calves' brains, pigs' feet, chickens' livers, and.
"Forget it!" growled the customer, "I have a headache, corns, and a bunion, as well as a hunger. Tell your troubles to someone else and bring me ham and eggs."
Change Here Tue train was about to leave the station when the guard noticed a little girl struggling with her frock in the corridor and crying.
"What's the matter?" asked the guard in a kindly voice.
"Please, sir," sobbed the girl, "I'm being evacuated, and they said I must be sure to change at this station; but the train won't wait long enough for me to get my other frock on."
One Pint Limit Tue squire's son, an army captain, was home on leave, and was treating the lads in the local inn.
"Pint, please," was the chorus in answer to his "What's yours?"
Noticing grandpa in the corner, he said to him: "Won't you have a drink with me?"
"TIl have a mouthful," said the old un. "Mouthful be damned," replied the captain. "You be satisfied with a pint, same as the others."
About Girls An old maid may be ripe for love, but she's never picked.
In olden days they used to kiss and make up. Now the make-up comes before everything.
A woman's face used to be her fortune, Now it's the druggist's.
He: There goes the girl I went with last year. She: What has she got that I haven't got? He: My bank roll, He: Jean lives only for me.
"She: Yes, she told me she had nothing to live for. tween blondes and brunettes?" ilia "What do they mean by the et
"Chemical warfare."
A historian announces that women used cosmetics in the Middle Ages. Women still use cosmetics in the middle ages. ome et kind of lipstick do you like best He: Oh, it's just a question of good taste.
She: I'm a good girl. He: Well, who asked you?
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.