I was travelling on a bus with my little girl, aged two and a half years.
A meat lorry passed, displaying a row of pigs with snouts towards us.
To the amusement of the passengers my little girl exclaimed: "Och, Mummy, look at all those people with their gas masks on!'
Thoughtful Ar the office the other morning the managing director called us into his office. He told us that, owing to the war, there was very little business.
"I am afraid we shall only be able to employ you three days a week, Your salaries will be cut in proportion," he said.
he added comfortingly, "you will be saving on your bus fares,"
Taking It Easy Two small boys came past the auxiliary fre station to which I am attached, One had his gas mask with him. The other had not.
To one of them my pal said, "You're a wise Jad to bring your mask." To the other, "Where's yours?"
"That's all right," said the boy. "I only live round the corner. Besides I can hold my breath longer than him."
False Teeth Turco am. An air raid warning sound. I dashed into my clothes, rushed off to my War-; den's post.
On the way I collided with somebody whose voice showed her to be a fellow air-raid Warden—even though she spoke in a strangely muffied tone.
"You're going the wrong wa I told her. Our post is around, the corner "I know," she replied breathlessly, "but I've forgotten my false teeth and I'm not going on duty without them.
Customer is Always Right "Morne wants a tin of salmon," said the small boy as he entered the grocer's shop.
The grocer produced a tin of salmon.
"Mother wants you to open it because she hasn't got a tin-opener."
The obliging grocer opened the tin.
"Mother wants a pound of sugar."
The grocer shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't let you have any sugar."
"Then mother says you can keep your blooming salmon!"
Hand-bills Srmnc in a suburban train an old lady, observing my tin-hat, ete., on the rack, got into conversation about A.R.P.
"And when the gas has dispersed," said she, how shall we know?"
She was rather deaf, so I replied loudly "The wardens will be out with hand-bells,"
"Can't they deliver them through the letter-"axes?" said she.
"What—handbells?" said I, amazed, "Oh!" said she, "I thought you said hand-bills!"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.