Par and Mike lay next to each other in hospital, both suffering from the same leg trouble. The doctor came along and attended Pat's leg. The poor fellow screamed with pain.
Then the doctor examined Mike's leg, patted it, twisted it, but Mike didn't make a sound.
After the doctor had gone Pat shouted to his friend, "Oh, boy, but it's the brave chap ye are!"
"Brave nothing," retorted Mike. "I saw what he did to you, so I showed him my good leg!"
More Bitter "Bir says ere ow heels are in the news," observed the pretty barmaid, looking up from the "Daily Rubbishdump" and tapping a daintily arched shoe provocatively.
"Ho, hit does, does hit?" retorted the red-faced man in the corner truculently. "Well, let me tell you heels is aht o' season. Now if you was to say, "ike hor even halibut."
"Keep yer air on," complained the barmaid. "Can't a girl ave iccups and put a haitch hin the wrong place without you creating. Hit was eels hi said and eels hi meant. Now wot you got ter say?"
Anuvver pint of bitter," replied the defeated fisherman, "and look sharp abaft it!"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.