Road Gallantry A TaLe of gallantry on the open road was told in Hawick Sheriff Court, when a young cyclist was charged with carrying a passenger on_his bicycle.
The passenger, the Fiscal revealed in Court, was a girl hiker from Glasgow who had become rather footsore. The cyclist offered his assistance, and the girl gratefully accepted the offer of a ride on the crossbar. "This is apparently the way hikers do their hiking" he commented.
At this stage of the narrative, an agent for the cyclist declared that the couple had travelled only 100 yards when a police patrol car appeared on the scene, and put an end to the duet on wheels.
"I am sure your lordship will not wish to unduly penalize gallantry," the agent said.
Sheriff Baillie smiled and imposed what he said was the modified penalty of 5s. on both boy and girl, A Family Newspaper "Wuat is a family newspaper?" asks one of my regguler readers (Cliff, Ealing). I will expound, says Marmaduke, youthful son of London sub-editor, in his column in "World's Press News,"
A family newspaper, Cliff, is one owned by a man with a lot of relations what are desirous of jobs on aforesaid paper. Now here is a case in point—a true story if I newer move from this colum.
OwsE rippon a time there was a Propprietter Of a prosperous newspaper who had given jobs to neerly all his relatives untill there Were no more jobs to go round. Besides, it made things hard for the only jernalist he employed, He had to do all the work! One day Cousin Fanny called, bringing her son Cedric, The Propprietter shook his hedd.
"We don't want no more reporters" ho said, Oh, but I dident want my Cedric to be a reporter," said Fanny. "Not after being on the Daily Wangle."
What was he doing there?"
lo used to go round the houses trying to get people to take it instead of the Daily Fudge. He only got one order—I gave it to him—and he got the sack."
"I see. Well, it's like this. I've got a News Edditer, Sports Edditer, and one each for Soccer, Rugger, Golf, Tennis, Bowls, Skittles lave you a Darts Edditer? Cedric is good at darts, aren't you, duck?"
"Lissen," said the Propprietter.
"Ive got an Edditer for evverythink, In fact, Ive got so many relations here that if a bomb dropped on the place, neerly all my family, would be wiped out!"
Cousin Fanny jumped up.
"Thats just it!" she cried. "What you want is an A.R.P. Edditer Cedric, hang up your hat!"
And Cedric got the job, Which is, as the song says, congenial eme ployment if one can obtain it, And one can obtain it if one tries,
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.