Mask for Rose Tur ARP. warden had been testing gas-masks, and now came to the three old maids at the end house. Amelia and Jane greeted him and apologised for their sister's absence. The masks were adjusted, and the warden said: "Well, now I hope your masks are OJ Yes, thank you, they are," replied Amelia, "but what about our Rose's The warden, taken aback, said: "Oh, that's not my job, you know, but I think perhaps you could spray them."
U. S. Press Oddities Paw notice in a rural weekly "Anyone found near my chicken house at night will be found there next morning."
In a wedding write-up in a southern daily newspaper the following appeared recently "The bridesmaid wore ocean green marquisette fashioned along princess loins."
In the "50 Years Ago Today" feature of the "South Bend Tribune" recently appeared this gem:
"Friday, June 6, 1890.
"Messrs. Charles H. Liphart and D. E. Hunt-singer, two of the best known funeral directors in this city, have formed a partnership and purchased the undertaking business of Knoblock Bros. and will conduct it at No. 127 North Main Street.
"Judging from appearances the outlook in this vicinity for a gocd all round yield of crops is good."
A Reporter whose bacchanalian adventures are legend on a New York daily recently found his inability to shake his reputation very embarrassing.
He was assigned to turn in a first hand story on a telephonic conversation from an aeroplane to land. From his perch among the clouds he rang his desk, and, much to his surprise, he got a good connection.
"Get me a rewrite man," he told the assistant night city editor. "I'm up in the air over a speeding train."
Listen, you drunken fool," was the impatient reply, "go home and sober up."
A Cub reporter from the Elizabeth City (N. C) "Daily Advance" was sent to cover a Parent-Teacher meeting. The out-of-town woman speaker arose to address the audience. She prolonged the preface to her speech by repeated declarations of her delight that "one father in this entire city had the interest of his child's education so much at heart that he came to this meeting.'
There was nothing that anybody could do to save the situation. The lady reiterated her joy. The cub repeated his blushes. For the duration of that speech, he had to be a "father," and for some weeks afterwards he had to endure considerable teasing.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.