Amongst the lighter stories which this war has produced is undoubtedly the latest from Berlin to the effect that specially selected super-soldiers—it was always alleged that all German soldiers were super,—were being trained for the coming invasion of Britain, and that tens of thousands of ren were being taught to use "water skis," permitting men to skate over the water at the rate of about five-and-a-half miles an hour. The water skis are described as being made of cork two metres long and fifty centimetres wide, The story is a good one. General von Seeckt is reported to have seen Chinese gymnasts performing on the Yangtze, and, returning to Germany in 1936 submitted the idea to Admiral Roeder. This particular method of walking on water is by no means as recent as the writer of the story would have his readers believe, for similar apparatus has been devised and known in other countries for a very considerable time past. a 'The story is not an impossible one. The feat of travelling over the water in this way has been performed by a large number of people, but chiefly with skis which have resembled the floats of seaplanes. With' them men have been able to progress comparatively slowly, and because of that it has never commended itself as the sport its originators "thought it would be. Now the German 4 "super-soldier" is said to be able to skate ber e water at~a rate double that at which the British "Bobby" nightly prowls' Mis beat. Even then a gentle stroll from "Calais to Dover, the shortest distance which the newly-equipped German invader would have to cover would take about four hours, even if he could make such a speed which is exceedingly doubtful, especially carrying the equipment which would be necessary when, if ever, he reached the British shores, and possibly some time before that. Naturally he could make a better showing if he were towed behind motor boats and the like, and the mind pictures strings of water skiers racing across the Channel on a very calm day,—and it would have to be very calm indeed, while, of course, the British would be doing nothing to them.
The message reporting this new scheme emanates from Berlin, and, giving away what appears to be a military secret, it is astonishing that it was allowed to pass the censors The story is fall of detail. It tells when the training began and where it is taking place, 2] of which it is to be believed the German authorities would prefer to have kept quiet about if there were anything much in the story. Skating, and skiing champions and acrobats have been engaged for the purpose of training these new troops, so that it may be confidently expected that the repertoire of these specially-taught invaders will include the double somersault, the back-flip and the art of falling softly when given the coup de grâce. And when they have completed their education in this most novel form of warfare they are confitiently expected, like the gallant young man on the flying trapeze, to glide o'er the seas with the greatest of ease.
Without a doubt this is quite one of the best pieces of fiction which fabricators under the imaginative Goebbels have produced since the war began. But he will probably forgive the world,—if there is any such ability to do so in his perverted make-up,—if it refuses to place much credence in this amusing piece of propaganda. Walking on water is quite possible, but whether the "skis" are made of cork or any other light material they are so clumsy as to impede the progress of the walker, no matter how well trained, or how "super" he may be. Nevertheless it should prove an interesting sight to see the cork-soled Armada set out from Calais on their long trudge across the Channel, especially if a fairly strong wind came up, for of a truth it would soon be scattered The only real chance of success which seems at all possible for the moment is for the Germans to resort to their refrigeration scheme—in which they were going to freeze Great Britain into a solid block,—cover the Channel with ice and just march across. But, perhaps, this water "walking story is no nearer the truth than Goebbels' earlier inventions including the foregoing, and the scheme to anzsthetize the whole of Britain for a fortnight and then move in.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.