Tue roads were icy, and an elder of the! kirk had lost his footing and was struggling {to rise when the minister came along.
ili, John," he remarked, facetiously, wicked walk in the slippery' places "So I see," replied John duly. manage it."
Odd Place He was a very poor golfer, and the lon, suffering caddy had had avery busy tine [searching the rough after his errant shots. At! last it seemed that the bull was lost for ever, and the caddy said as much in a weary voice.
Tur golfer was inclined to be mean, however, jand urged the boy to go on looking. "It's my experience," he explained, "that you will often find ball in the mast unlikely place."
"Noe door, sir; nae door," was the caddy's in that case TIN just go on ahead and Forecast "A prot more rain, so mol wireless clu so-a7, Sarge, what might' yours ave said? contax went into a shoe shop to try some shoes. "see you are advertising at specially reduced ale of 2000 pairs of shoes "the Latest, style." "Is that sight"? "Thav's Fight madam." "Well, Il try them on."
Jimmy Went "Mtuas, what station' was the name of the last "T-don't know.
Don't bother me. I'm read-
"Well, I'm sorry Jimmy got out. there don't Know, because Tue old man had watched the motorist work= ing in vain on his car for about an hour, "What are you gazing. at?" asked the irate motorist, "Is this the first motor car you have ever seen?
"No," was the dry reply, "but it's very like it, Long, Long Time A Max went into a restaurant the other day jand asked for a rump steak. It came but it was very small and he told the waiter what he thought of it. "This won't make much the customer said, "Oy yer it will sir' [said the waiter, "it will take you a long, long. time (0 eat it Fair Enough A. youncsten who was not very good at arithmetic was given the following' problem by his uncle "It a man buys something. for 6/Cd. fand sells it for 0/8d, does he gain or lose on the whole deal?" The boy thought for a long ime and then he said "Well he gains on the pennies but loses on the shillings."
Sporting Blood A oer old chap knocked at a door the other day and asked If he could have a copper oF two. Being in a generous mood the house holder gave tim half a crown. "Blimey guvnor,* said, "Do you mind if 1 use your phono"? "What for"? "T want to ring up my bookie."
Angel Children"
'Wett, it's rather hard to explain what love Is," said' the Genial Aunt to her niece, "but 1 [suppose it was, love that made your daddy marry your mummy."
"Oh no, it was' said the angel child, whose {father was a whimsical Journalist, "He only wanted some silly Kids to give silly names to Jand write about in his personality column."
Sizes Ax Englishman staying on the 60th floor of lan American skyscraper looked out of the Window and saw what he thought was a three penny bit.
He ran down the stair to the next floor and looked like a six pence. On the next floor it looked Uke a shilling, and on the next a 'He took' the lift to the foot, ran out, and found—a dustpan lid!
Romance Tut House of Commons will consider how it can facilitate Anglo-Scottish marriages, Bring oot anither Joxe, "Anitier canny crack, Alot the Scottish bloke Wha wants his money back—
The money he micht spend 'On coortin' if he's And sibling tae nie. end!
"Ye ken, it is a risk!
A pond it micht well be, spread ower seven years! The toueht can huan calculating. tears.
Aye, if ye want a Scot wed an. English maid, mannie, ye hae Ret ay "Expenses pal F. GH, Salusbury in the "Daily Herald."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.