EwTERING a cinema, a man was stopped by the commissionaire.
"Where is your gas mask?"
"I haven't got one."
"Well, you can't come in here without one.
"Well, I have known for a long time is place was rotten. But I didn't know it had got so bad you had to wear a gas mask."
Squared "Wet, Joe, did you have any luck with Jeanette yesterday?" asked the sporting man's friend.
Instantly the wife shot her husband an ugly glance and went out of the room.
"You've torn it," groaned the husband. "My wife thinks I don't bet now. You'll have to square this with her."
So when the wife returned a few minutes later, the friend said, breezily: "I say, Mrs. Brown, I'm awfully sorry if I misled you just now. Jeanette isn't a horse, you know. She's a barmaid."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.