Par and Mick were making a train journey, "See those lovely red currants by the line," remarked Pat, "Red currants!" said Mick, "Sure but these aren't red currants, they're black currants."
"Sure but we're coloured blind," replied Pat, "Sure an' begorrah Tr not," answered Mick, "Didn't ye know that black currants are red when they're green,"
Aigrettes A very fashionably-dressed woman came across a small boy bird-nesting.
"How can you be so heartless as to take those eggs?" she cried, "It's all right," replied the boy sulkily "It isn't all right," she retorted.
"What will the poor mother bird think when she comes back and finds her eggs gone?"
"The mother bird's dead," said the boy firmly.
How do you know?"
Cos I can see "er on replied th lad, with a grin Humour or Truth Morner came into the kitchen one evening after doing the shopping, and found her young son hard at work at thie table, "Where's your father, Billy?" she asked, "Oh, he's in the sitting-room, mother, doing my homework."
"He is, is he? Then what are you working at so busily?" inquired his mother.
"Pin just filling in 614 football coupon," came the rent from this modern young man, Daddy, It's Awful Tarruє Harold was home for the holidays and, with some apprehension, he watched his father open his school this?" demanded the angry parent. "Arithmetic, bad spelling, bad reading, bad conduct, bad history, composition, geography. all bad What is the meaning of this, Harold?"
The boy thought hard and shifted uneasily in his Chair, I can't understand it dad," he said at last, "Do you—do on—er— think it might be a forge Poison-Book Tur manager of a local chemist's shop was called out one day, and had to leave his new assistant, young man, in charge of the premises, When he returned, the assistant said:
"A customer came in while you were out, sir."
FOM What did he want?"
He was rather groggy, so I mixed him a tonic,"
"What did you give him?"
"A general mixture, A bit of this and a bit of that,"
"But you dont know anything much about it, You don't know what harm it might do hu "Oh, that's all right—I got him to sign the poison-book,"
Swing of the-Balance Joun had just got married, and tne local minister had been hearing hair-raising stories from neighbours about the lack of domestic happiness in the new household.
Meeting John one day in the street, the minister took the opportunity of raising the question.
Well, John," he asked pleasantly, "how is all going on?
"Oh, happily enough sir—happily gh!" came the reply.
Tm very glad to hear that. You ere were rumours of rows— exclaimed John. "Oh, yes, sir, we has plenty of rows! Wherever the missis sees me she catches the first thing that comes to hand, a saucepan maybe, or a flat iron, and throws it at me. If she hits me, then. she's happy. If she misses, I am."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.