Tur doctor had thoroughly overhauled his patient, but at the end of the examination Seemed somewhat puzzled.
Well," he said at last, "I can't quite diagnose your case. I think it must be drink."
"AIL right, doctor," said the patient cheerily, "111 come back when you're sober."
Women's Ideas 'A MAN was looking at some ties, and tossed tone or two aside with a contemptuous grin, After he had made his purchase, he noticed that the assistant put those he had so positively rejected into a separate box, "What becomes of those?" he inquired, We sell them to the women who come in here to buy ties for men."
His Ancestors Dunc a history lesson the teacher pointed out to the class that a surname often indicated the trade of the ancestors of those who bore the name. He gave the obviously simple example of Smith, Taylor, Baker, and others, Then he questioned one of the boys.
What were your ancestors, Webb?"
'Spiders, sir'
Mid-Year Tu examinations were over and the ex-miners were busy checking up the various answers. One of them found a paper which, instead of being covered with historical names and dates, hada crude sketch of a cemetery with a large tombstone on which was written: "Sacred to the memory that always deserts me on an occasion like this."
Knocked Out Mixr and Pat decided to go to a boxing match. One of the fighters was standing up so pluckily to a rare pasting that the crowd roared its approval. Mike turned to Pat and exclaimed:
"Well, at any rate, the crowd is with him,"
Pat nodded grimly, "Aye," he said, "and 1 bet the poor civil wishes he was with the crowd."
"Absent Minded"
Tr professor was in the habit of allowing his dog to sit on a chair beside him at meal times, One evening he was out to dinner. The lady sitting next to him, wishing to attract his attention, gently touched his sleeve.
Absent-mindedly the professor picked up a bone from his plate and, without turning his head, held it out to her'and said: "Oh, don't worry so. Take this on the mat and eat it.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.