Nice Blend of Sorrow Fottowiwc the announcement of the institution of a Ministry of Shipping—I learn of an even more praiseworthy enterprise. This is the creation ofa Ministry of Slipping. It will be the business of the Minister to take the blame and express regret for all slips which may be made by his colleagues in the Government, writes Showman in the "Daily Herald.
He will be gelected for his long face, whose ruling expression must be a nice blend of profound sorrow and sincere repentance. He must lo to cry at will.
wil wear a uniform of sack-cloth, and will be attended in the House by three undersecretaries, one male, two females.
It will be the duty of the male under-secretary to cast ashes on the Minister's head from time to time. The females will wail.
The Minister himself will accompany his explanations with brisk breast-beating, head-bowing and loud weeping and screaming.
At the conclusion of his task, he and his attendants will depart in slow time, singing a song of lamentation.
From the Expert's Mouth Tur employment of troops in contending armies is the essential feature of war (writes a military correspondent).
The size of an army depends on the resources of the nation concerned, while its constituent elements—ranging in the widest sense from an air force to a dental corps—are dictated by experience and vary with the passage of the centuries. Bows and arrows, for example, do not feature in modern armaments, for the very Zood reason that they are comparatively ineffective against machine-guns, Strategy must vary with circumstances: suffice it to say here that no sound strategist would remain immobile op his terrain and let an enemy either infiltrate his defences or cut him off from his base of supplies.
Aircraft have modified tactics in battles; but certain principles remain sound, and it would still be an error to launch an attack with a small un-supported body of cavalry on an opponent strongly entrenched behind a thick belt of wire and covered by an overwhelming force of artillery, Finally, to be successful, a war must be won, Went to Seed "So this is the Ministry of Agriculture," said Alice, "But what is it exactly?"
"Well, I can't tell you exactly what it is," said the Whitehall Queen, with an air of great deliberation, "but, before the war, it was where statesmen went to seed," says the Showman in the "Daily Herald."
"Oh"
"And," the Whitehall Queen proceeded, "it is also the Ministry of Fisheries. That's most important,"
"Why?"
"Such ignorance!" snapped the Whitehall Queen. "Why, to take a load off the Minister's mind, Fish grow themselves, don't they? So he doesn't have to worry about them."
"Poor man!" said Alice, who was always conside rate of others. "He must have a lot of worries."
"Easy come, easy go," said the Whitehall Queen. "However the War will soon put everything right."
"I suppose it couldn't have been put right before the War?" said Alice.
"You are stupid!" exploded the Whitehall Queen. "Of course it couldn't. Fancy wasting energy in peacetime that we need for war!"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.