Misrness: "Where's the jelly, Bridget?"
Bridget: "Why, you told me' it was moulded, 1 threw the stuff away.
Power or Mower Tuene used to be two windmills here, used there not?"
"Aye, but they tuk one down vower to leave mower' wind vower other, of reckon."
Explained 'Teacuen: "What's the meaning of a false doctrine, "That's when the doctor gives the wrong stuff to sick' people.'
New Regulation Why didn't you Recruit: Well, sir, boggin' yer pardon, it's ike this, the sergeant says, sez e, never salute with a cigarette in yer mouth. And I haven't, Not Sure eta Tue lille girl closed her book with a sigh of content.
"Does your story end happily?" asked her mother.
"it doesn't, say, mummy." replied the child innocently; "it only" says" they' were married Keeping Miserable "Wet, well" said the rich man, "after all, money i't everything, 1 have my troubles, "Perhaps," aid his poor. friend, "But you Jean keep mis table in comfort."
Cockney Pun "Lumoy!" murmured the cockney, regaining consciousness in hospital, after a. blackout, ac~ leldent, "Ave I been brought ere ter die?"
"No' mate, said the man in the next bed, So Old It's New Again Tue scene was the firing range; the recruits got down at the 300-yard mark and fired. No result. They got up and marched to the 200- yard mark, fired, again no target, The same thing happened at the 100-yard mark and the sergeant in desperation yelled, "There's only Jone thing for it, Pix bayonets and charg Wheel and Woe Twe latest cure for the servant problem is to your servant join the domestic cycling club Bring Bring back' my cockle to me, to mo, ait for these sports but she's wearing my shorts, '$0 bring back my coo In Reply 'A small printer got slightly peeved at a letter from a doctor who wanted quotations for several thousand lelterheads, different sizes, different grades, and different colours, "and wanted the printing forms held standing, So the. took his typewriter, and wrote:—Tam in the market for quotations for one operation for appendicitis, One, two, or five~ ch ineision—with or without ether, also with Jor without nurse. If appendix is found to be sound, I want quotations to include putting back fand cancelling order. If removed, successful bidder Is expected, t0 hold incision open for Jabout 60° days, as I expect to be in the market for an operation for gallstones, at that time, Jand want to save the cost of cutting."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.