For Sale—Piebald whippet. Will eat anything, fond of children. Would exchange for new pair of trousers. Owner going crazy.
A ye, it's our Lancelot. He's gone too far, this time.
Mind you, it's mostly Beryl's fault. She's been teaching t'dog all sorts of daft tricks. Her last idea was to teach him to carry bundles in his mouth. Every day when she came back from shopping, there you'd see Lancelot, trotting along behind her with a parcel of cowheel in his mouth or a pound of spare ribs for my tea.
Well, t'other night Beryl and I are waken up by, a noise from downstairs.
arge," says the wife, "it's burglars. Go down and see what's to-do."
Se off I go down t'stairs and pop my round t'parlour door.
And what d'you ti I see?
Sure enough, there's a couple of b: glars break g open m money box. And there, standing beside them, is Lancelot....holding the torch for thi—Formby in the "Sunday Cheetah's Warning "DEBUTANTEs at a sherry party given yester: day were surprised when a fully-grown cheetah roamed round the room without a chain, played with the guests and drank a glass of sherry."—From the new A cheetah of my acquaintance said:—"I am glad to hear that the cheetah mentioned behaved himself, because cheetahs are not fond of sherry and are never at their best at cocktail parties. s a matter of fact, we feel as much out of place at a debutantes' cocktail party as a debutante would feel in the jungle. The difference s that while we are courteous enough to drink the sherry we doubt if a debutante would spare our embarrassment by eating a lump of raw antelope. i "We are also very uncomfortable at functions of this kind because we feel repressed. Our natural food is raw meat, and although a debutante may be just a debutante to you she just a meal to us and obviously looks more appetizing in a low cut frac "While we admit that there are some debutantes a starving cheetah wouldn't touch we sre nevertheless apt to overcome a natural revulsion after the second sherry and our desire to eat one of them instead of a-shrimp toast is very strong.
Repressions of this kind are very bad for cheetah and I think it is only it to warn hostesses that our native courtesy and consideration for the feelings of others cannot always be relied upon if the party goes on after our dinner time," gubbins in the "Sunday Express."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.