Dnamanist: "So you've read new play? Well, what do you think of Manager: "Aly. dear sir, I'l speak quite truthfully, there are two scenes mit that [Shakespeare himself couldn't have written."
"Really? And. which are those?
"The one in the radio shop and the one in the movie. studio."
"But Not 1"
'Tue parson had been preaching an hour and more on the immortality' of the soul. "I looked atthe mountains," he said, "and 1 thought 'Mighty as you are, you will' be destroyed, but soul will not' T gazed at the ocean,' and cried "Vast as you are, you will eventually ary up, but not J," And' then he wondered why a'iitter ran through the congregation Old Tale Altered He was very proud of his golf, and had brought his mother-in-law along to watch him. play with a friend, "i'm particularly anxious to make a terrifte @rive just now." he told his friend. "My mother-in-law is over there, and I—"
"Don't be a fool, man," said his friend, "you'll never hit her at' 200 yards!
Under Advice"
'Tue captain of a tramp steamer and his mate went to the bar and ordered two pints of beer "Well, here's health, skipper," said the mate, He picked up his tankard, but before he drank hho firmly closed his ey'
he skinner lode on tu astonishment "Here," he said, "why do you close" your Jeyes, when you drink?"
"The doctor told ustn't look at any thing stronger than water; replied the mate, Different 'Aw American judge, failing to be re-elected, was' made cashier of a local bank. A. man presented a cheque, to be cashed.
"Don't know you," said the new cashier, The customer produced a credit card, a business card, and a bundle of letters addressed to. himself "Not suM™iciont identity," said the cashier, pushing the cheque back, "Why Sude," protested the man, "T've known you to hangs man on less evidence than that."
"Maybe so," said the ex-judge, "but when you're paying out money you have to be Summer is King Sine heigh and sing ho and sing verde-de-o—For the wide open spaces whet Summer ix King!
You sit by the sea with a blonde on your knee 'TI you find she's a phone get expecting a ring!
You show her your mussels, she calls you shrimp, You tread on a lobster and swim with a limp, She says ina swim sult you look like a clump In the wide open spaces Where sunburn leaves traces On iloted places And Summer is King!
You find a nice bay and shout "Hipst Hipst Hurray!"
he wide open spaces when Summer is "King!
You angle all day but no girls come your way And the bird that you chase is still up on the win You find one at last and you tell her, "My lamb, I know & quiet cove for away from the Jam Says she, "So do I—he's my husband—now In the wide open spaces Where every one chases Around in their braces And Summer is Kina!
Sing long and sing loud and away with the crowd To the wide open spaces when Summer is King!
You laugh and you Airt and you take off your shirt And kik over the traces like any old thing. For all of the world and his wite are awheel, Noses and wedding bells both start to peel, And the merry mosquitoes make many a meal On the wide open seees, OF hikers! fat faces"
And other odd_places When Summer. is) King! convert blondes into brunettes by dying the Yellow Evening Primrose into a deep blame colour on her carly morning rounds. The Cuckoo, too, true to his European reputation, "changes tune at end of June" and stammers out his familiar call, sonietimes sis oF fight "eucke" before' Ihe can pronounce the single "00." Down in the harbour Flyin fishes (arge ones, too) are. gliding above the water: a strange phenomenon to my mind For Weihaiwei is not on the road to Mandala and this looks to. me like just another Sample of midsummer madness.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.