A Scor and a minister were in a train together travelling through a lovely part of Scotland. When passing a grand mountain they saw a huge advertisement for So-and-So's whisky, The Scot gave a snort of disgust. The minister leaned forward and said: "I'm glad to see, sir, that you agree with me that they should not be allowed to desecrate the beauties of nature by advertisement.
Its no' tha sir," said the Scot, "It's awfu' poor whisky,"
Those Bitter-Sweets "Way don't you cull me donkey, and have done with it? You've hinted at it long enough," he snarled out, "It wouldn't be quite true," she replied.
"I suppose not. I suppose I haven't ears enough for that animal," he retorted sarcastically, Oh, yes, you have, she retorted sweetly, "You don't need any more ears."
"What do I need, then?
"More legs."
Up to the Minute Tue son of a wealthy man had been placed in a merchant's office in order to acquire. business habits and methods. Gradually he became unpunctual in commencing work, until at length he did not arrive till about two in the afternoon, This had gone on for a week, when the merchant remonstrated. "But, my dear si the young man reasoned, "how can I come any earlier? I don't get my breakfast until one." "Well, get your breakfast earlier."
How can I, I don't get up till twelve," "Then t up earlier" "How can 1" pleaded the inquest, "when I don't go to bed until daylight?"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.