Court:
Is your husband vorking?—No, he is a foreman.
Business Proposal "Tm glad your last customer looked so pleased," said the manager to the sales girl "What did he want to see?"
Me, at seven-thirty.
Doubtful "Yhem Tom threw that one at you," said the mother, "you shouldn't have thrown one back. You should have come to me."
Why, Mum," said the angel child, "could you have hit him?
Social Note "I HAVE seen one or two women lunching a silk handkerchief tied round the head instead of a hat—Gossip.
There is something very picturesque, and eminently practicable too. about this mode. Lady Clanbridget looked a positive gipsy when I met her tripping out of the Pomposo with the remains of her lunch and a few extra rolls and pats of butter and fruit tied up in a silk handkerchief.
"Darling" she said, "it's so easy now! I tried to gel away with this sort of thing, the other day, under my hat, and some fool barged into me at the door, and there was an absolute cascade of food, darling.
"I felt ever such a silly!" she added with a laugh, "though everyone knew I was simply setting an example of economy to the poor." Showman in the "Daily Herald."
Not Cricket "WELL," boomed Authority, closing his official desk, "a most trying week, most trying. But, he murmured, "conferences are being held and a further announcement on official policy may be made."
"I read that somewhere, myself." I ventured "Fancy Sir Auckland Geddes telling people gradually to store tinned foods! He thoroughly upset us. He might at least have had the de-coney not to make a constructive suggestion at this stage when problems are being—er—ah—hum—what's the wor Thrashed out?"
"Precisely, Thank you. We don't blame him, of course, for mentioning food particularly. "The storage of lipstick or pipe-cleaners would be just as bad. I mean his offence is that ho recommended anything definitely. We don't want anything done "But why?"
'Why?" boomed Authority. "Surely it's obvious? You just stir vp trouble. For example, so long as theres' no A.R.P. there can be no air raids. That's logic. That's A. R. Priori reasoning."
And out he flounced.
Showman in the Daily Herald."
Fairies In Yorkshire "Membrns of the Folk Lore Society told me that the late Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was convinced that fairies really existed in Yorkshire"—From the news.
First Yorkshire Fairy: Where's t' Fairy Queen?
Second Yorkshire Fairy: E-o-e-e-e. Titivatin' wings or summar. rst Yorkshire Fairy: E-e-e-e-e, Gallivantin' again?
Second Yorkshire Fairy: E-e-e-e-e-e. Owd airy Kings proper mad an' all.
First Yorkshire Fairy: E-e-e-e-(Enter Yorkshire Fairy Queen)
Fairy Queen: Eh, lads!
Yorkshire Fairies (glowering: Eh, Queen. Wheer's tha been?
Fairy Queen (singing) On Tikla' Moor bat at On Ilkla' Moor bat at On... Ilkla'... Moor...ba First Yorkshire Fairy: (singing): Mheer asta then whin ah saw thee?
Second Yorkshire Fairy: Who is the lad courtin thee?
On Ika' Moor bat at?
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.