Constante: When told he would be reported, defendant said, "Let me off and laugh at life."
Clerk: Have you recently looked for work? Man: No, I'm waiting for the rain to stop.
Solicitor: What is your method of meeting your debts?
Man: Half next week, and a promise for the week before.
Clerk: What offers have you to make to clear the money you owe your wife?
Man: I should like to have a reconciliation.
Clerk: The best way to get that is to keep your payments up regularly.
Stuff to Give the Troops Mr. Basil Dean is to be responsible for organizing stage entertainments for British troops in the event of war.
If ever war breaks out again And blasts the happy scene, Among the tasks and woes which rain There's work for Mr. Dean.
He'll have, as once before he did, To entertain the troops, And make an entertaining bid To turn their groans to whoops.
Unlike the general you'll find So often worth his money, Our Mr. Dean must use his mind And consciously be funny.
—By F. G. H. Salusbury in the "Daily Herald."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.