Mu. T. Dodd, senior, champion rhubarb grower of Wye, Kent, has won the Wye Gardeners' Society prize for three sticks of rhubarb for 48 consecutive years.
When weary of the tyrants who Usurp the voice of God, We might peruse the humble news Of Mr. Thomas Dodd.
He lives in Wye and has for years Encouraged rhubarb's size: Since eighteen-ninety-one—how fine!—He's carried off the prize.
Oh, autocrats may strut their hour, But, when the curtain's down, I'd rather wait at Peter's Gate Wearing a rhubarb crown, —By F. G. H. Salusbury in the Daily Herald."
Mr. Lucifer and the Ladies "TumwiNG out nice again, Mr. Gubbins." (of the "Sunday Express.")
It was the cheerful, fantifiar voice of Mr. Lucifer. He had appeared quite suddenly in your Uncle's work room dressed in spotless fannels swinging a tennis racket.
"Care for a game, Mr. Gubbins?"
"No thank you, Mr. Lucifer."
"Well perhaps we could have a little chat and a drink instead, Mr, Gubbins?"
"Help yourself, Mr. Lucifer."
"Thank you, Mr. Gubbins."
Mr, Lucifer poured himself a generous whisky and soda, sank into a chair and sighed.
"The last few months have been rather trying for me, Mr. Gubbins, and I feel just a teeny weeny bit tired. Now that I have mancuvred half the world into an armed camp I think I am entitled to a little rest."
"It seems a small reward for such an achievement, Mr, Lucifer."
"But, of course, Mr. Gubbins, I am mever completely idle."
"No, Mr. Lucifer?"
"I have my minor activities, Mr. Gubbins. Little routine matters that must be attended to."
"Sugh as, Mr. Lucifer?"
"Oh, just causing little spots of bother here and there, Mr. Gubbins. Starting little arguments, spreading little scandals and exciting little jealousies, But, of course the pot I have to keep boiling all the time is the war between men and women."
"Really, Mr. Lucifer 2"
"Of course, Mr. Gubbins, Centuries ago I was very worried that there were so many happy marriages. Thinking the matter over I decided that it was because the activities of women were confined to making comfortable homes. They were never allowed to poke their: noses into politics and never allowed to discuss matters they couldn't hope to understand, There were^. a few who insisted on speaking' out of their turn and I regret to say that the intolerant men of the period were very rough with them indeed."
Shame, Mr. Lucifer."
"It seemed a shame, Mr. Gubbins, but there was a great and lasting peace in the home afterwards. Thanks to my idea we shall never see that sort of relationship again,"
"Your idea, Mr, Lucifer?
"My idea of persuading women to fight for equal rights and opportunities, Mr. Gubbins. It sounded so just and so. reasonable that the majority of men agreed with it, But most of them forgot that the ladies (bless them, Mr. Gubbins), although gifted, intelligent, witty and often Possessed of outstanding abilities, have no idea
to have all the advantages.' bus luntly, Mr. ins, their idea of ty i HI of justice. It I may put it rather
"I am surprised and hurt to hear you say that, Mr. Lucife "Please don't misunderstand me, Mr. Gubbins. I hope I have as much respect for the ladies as you. I am only trying to point out that they are different and have a different code of honour. You must have noticed yourself that a woman who prizes her virtue above pearls and rubies (quite a sacrifice for a woman, Mr. Gubbins) will consider it an achievement to cheat a shopkeeper out of two-pence."
"I can't see what that has to do with the equality of the sexes, Mr. Lucifer."
"It has nothing to do with it, Mr, Gubbins. It was merely an observation. But if you wish to see a glaring example of social injustice brought about by giving the ladies their so-called equality of rights you should read your newspapers, According to one, L read there are 5,000 men in America serving long terms of imprisonment for not paying alimony to women who have married again and don't need their support,"
"Shall we change the subject, Mr. Lucifer?"
"If you wish, Mr. Gubbins."
"Do you think there is going to be a war, Mr. Lucifer?"
"Mr. Gubbins! I'm surprised at you! If you went an answer to a silly question like that you should ask that brilliant example of women's emancipation, Madame Tabouis."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.