Teacuer: "Do fish grow quickly?"
Tommy: "Yes, like anything. My dad once caught one that grew six inches every time he mentioned it."
Basso Ir was the ship's concert and the song was "Asleep in the Deep." The singer had got well and truly deep, when an awed voice from the back of the háll was heard:
"Crikey! He'll scuttle himself in a minute!"
French Polish "How is your new French star getting on?" asked one theatrical agent of another.
I'm having trouble with her speech."
"Ah, yes, French accent."
"Yes, I've been working on it for weeks but you can still tell that she comes from Wigan,"
Preparatory Course FOoOTBALLER: "Joe, referee." this is Mr. Smith, the Captain of home team: "Well, there's an hour before the match yet, You might show Mr. Smith the sights of the village, Bill, Be careful to point out the duck-pond, the hospital and the cemetery."
Standing by He said he had a strong objection to attacking anyone.
"And what would you do," asked the chairman of the tribunal "if a German attacked your mother?"
"Id lay three to one on mum," replied the conscientious objector.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.