"I'M sorry, madame," said the attendant at the movie, "but you can't take that dog into the theatre."
"How absurd," protested the woman, "What harm can pictures do to a little dog like this?"
Helpful "Wuar's that piece of string tied round your finger for, Bill?"
"That's a knot. Forget-me-not is a flower; with flour we make bread, and with bread we eat cheese. This is to remind me to buy pickled onions"—Sheffüeld "Weekly Telegraph."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.