T cave up smoking and drinking 25 years ago to ay."
Well, now, that's very odd."
"What's odd?"
"It's my silver wedding this month, too."
Simple "An," said Sherlock Holmes, "I see you have put on your winter underwear, my dear Watson."
"True, but how did you know?"
Elementary, my dear Watson. You have forgotten your trousers."
Swapping 2 CoMMENcING with a ten-cent pocket knife, Fayette Cherry, a county policeman, of May-field, Kentucky, recently started a series of swaps. Ten weeks later he had a two-hundred one motor car on completing his hundredth cal, Paid Enough Two Englishmen were visiting the field of Bannockburn.
_A native came up and pointed out the position of the hostile armies. Highly pleased with his attention, the gentlemen, on leaving him, urged him to accept a coin.
Na, na," said the native, "keep your money. The English have paid dearly enough already for seeing the field of Bannockburn."
Satisfied Te little Jewish hawker knocked nervously at the back entrance of the McPherson's house. Mrs. McPherson, busy with the week's washing, and angry at being interrupted, flung open the door, steaming arms akimbo, and shouted: "Did ye weesh to see me?"
The Jew backed a few steps. wish, t'ank you." ani "Vell, if I did," he assured her, "I got In Halves Twins arrived during the might. The next morning father said to little Joe—"You needn't go to school to-day. You can tell the teacher to-morrow that you have two baby sisters."
But Joe had a still better idea.
"I know what I'll do. Dad," ko said. "Ill tell teacher I've got one baby ister, and then next week I can stay at home again and tell him I've got another."
Auto Note Indian Maharajah, ordering a new car, "The Maharajah weighs 280 Ib, and always travels with his two brothers, who weigh 325 th, and 280 lb. The car will carry five other Passengers. He will use the car between his capital and Bombay, the greater part of the distance over elephant trails and open country. No other cars ever follow this route. Compared with the rest, the elephant trails are good roads. The Maharajah travels at between 70 m.p.b, and 80 m.p.h."
Even the Young Tue younger generation are taking a keen interest in international affairs nowadays. Shortly after the broadcast of the news bulletin, announcing Mr. Chamberlain's departure for Rome, little Helen, being only eight, was dispatched to bed.
"Mummy," she asked as she was tucked up, "why didn't Mr. Chamberlain take his umbrella to Italy?"
"But he did take it, dear," was the surprised answer, "although the announcer didn't say so."
"I'm not so sure," said Helen decidedly, "for the announcer only said that Mr. Chamberlain had taken his staff with him."
Gold Rush Gurrrerinc gold again jumped into the limelight recently when it soared to a new high record price level. Valued and much sought after from earliest times, it is strange to recall that, nearly 30 years before the 1851 gold rush, the man who first discovered gold in Australia was rewarded with a flogging. He was a convict working on the road by the Fish River, near Ballarat, and the fact that he found. a nugget in the ground was too good to be true, so he was sentenced for the presumed theft and melting down of a gold watch. Another Australian gold rush took place recently when £166 in notes were found in a wallet picked up in George Street, Sydney. The announcement of the find resulted in the discovery of at least 25 different people who had apparently lost that amount in the same street on the same day.
Taking It on the Chin "To be able to help, if only in ever such a small way—surely we should always strive to do that?"
So let me help the correspondent who declares, in a revered contemporary—"I cannot understand why tall girls complain of their height'
The reason, of course, is that they are always cracking their chins on the heads of small men who, dance with them.
It was all right for a tall girl in the old days when dancing at arm's length was fashionable, but now—to quote a very tall girl I know—"when you're at close quarters, sort of, every time the man lifts his head to say somethins—click! go your poor teeth as your chin takes tae shock.
"Of course, we develop lovely firm chins in time, but eyen to be chosen Chin Queen of your town is dashed little consolation," she pouted, "when you have to suffer for it."
*From "Fairy Flowers," by Basil Boofuls. Showman in the "Daily Horal
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.