A CLERGYMAN called at one house where the mother was complaining of her large family, and the difficulty she had in providing for so many. The minister tried to comfort her with the old saying that "Heaven sent bread when it sent the babies."
"Yes," replied the harassed mother, "but I sometimes think the bread goes to one house and the babies to another."
New Drink DINNER was a little late, so the hostess played the piano. She finished, but there was still an interval of waiting. In the embarrassing silence, she turned to one of the waiting guests and asked, "Mr. Mason, would you like a sonata before dinner?" The gentleman gave a start of surprise and pleasure. "Why yes, thank- you, I had a couple on my way here, but I think I could stand another."
Advertising Genius A STOREKEEPER had for some time displayed in his window a card inscribed "Fishing Tickle."
A customer drew the proprietor's attention to the spelling, 5 "Hasn't anyone told you of it before?" Ko asked.
"Hundreds," replied the dealer, "but whenever they drop in 46 tell me they always spend something."
Court Jesters CueRk at Willesden: Where can your husband be found?
Woman: He is usually in bed.
NorrincHam solicitor: Did you throw a bucketful of water over your husband?
Wife: Yes—out of a tea-cup.
Sourcrror, at Highgate: Could you tell the offside wheel from the near side wheel?
Woman: No, they are both the same shape:*
Learned at Home AurHoucH the two schoolmasters were on holiday, they couldn't refrain from -talking "shop." This particular evening they were discussing the misdeeds of one of their pupils.
"Do you know," said one of the masters, "T can't help thinking that Mr. Smith does Mis son's homework for him."
"What has given you that idea"? asked His companion, "Well, at the end of Jast term I asked him to give me the answer fo the question, 'What 18 Supreme Happiness?' and the entry in his book the next day read: "The Life of a Bachelor."
Pity the Husband A vou no woman recently applied to one of the local radio stations for a position as a singer. They gave her an audition and she was so bad all the technicians went to lunch, The girl noticed the strained expressions around her.
"I know I can't sing," she confessed, "But I'd be willing to pay for it, if you'd let me sing on Tuesday nights."
"Well, just why are you so anxious to sing over the air?" asked the long suffering tryout man. a "Well, my husband and I have quarreled." tle girl explained. "He always listens in Tuesday night to this station. I just wanted to ruin the evening for him." 3
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.