Jan. 9.
It is frequently said that the law is an ass, when probably all that is meant is that its administrators come under that natural history qualification. For the most part they may be seen on and off the bench, gently, and reflectively twitching their ears, and occasionally delivering themselves of ' some heavy humour not unlike the bray of the animal referred to. The Glasgow Sheriff Court quite recently had a field day to itself, over a case in which a firm of distillers were charged with applying a false trade name "'Scotch Whisky" to each of three hundred bottles containing a blend of 33 per cent. Northern Irish grain whisky. It is not clear what the defence was -but it seems that it was contended that the blend having been made in Scotland,—following. the well-known precedent of a cow born in a stable becoming a horse—would automatically become Scotch Whisky. It will be readily understood that this was an opportunity for a little humour upon which the sprightly wits of the Taw jumped with the greatest glee. Someone immediately asked whether only the stew made in Ireland could be Irish, but the piece de resistance was ihe passage between a lawyer and a fruit selector,—what possible evidence a fruit selector could give in such a case is not clear, but thoroughness in the courts is reaching such a pitch nowadays that doctors are actually called to give medical evidence. The fruit selector testified that Scotch Whisky to be made in And where are Spanish onions grown? he was gently asked. "Spain" was the reply "Are they not grown outside of Spain?"—"I dare say" was the answer. "Have you ever seen Spanish onions growing in this country?"—"No." replied the witness, whereupon the "cross-examiner tenderly enquired where Brussel sprouts: grew. Peals of merry laughter drowned the witness's reply, while justice held it sides as hho denied that he had ever dealt in Jerusalem artichokes or Knew whether they came from that city, or not.
'The next' witness called was a timber merchant, the connection between his call~ ing and the liquor trade being somewhat clearer than in the case of the previous witness, casks of course being made of wood. He was asked "Have you seen Scotch firs growing on the Surrey uplands?"—"That the wrong name for them," was the re-fort, "Well what would you call Scotch firs grown in England?"—The risibility of the Court was again tickled when the witness replied "Pinus sylvertus," showing quite clearly that Scotch fir is' something in the nature of an exception to the cow-and-stable precedent. There is a lot to be said for, and against giving place names to certain things, chiefly against, for consider what confusion can arise at'times. Thus a Bath chap might easily be mistaken for a low fellow from that fashionable watering place, whereas after all it is only the smoked check of the porcine quadruped. Bath buns can be made anywhere, though here naturally, the closer they are made to Bath the "bather" so to speak. Again, take "Rich~ mond maids of honour." Should all the maids of honour come only from Richmond, or can they be made in other places? And if they can, should they be given the place name of their origin. Fancy that delicate confection being spoken of as the "Yarmouth maids of honour" simply because it was made in the town of the bloater's nativity. Richmond could never retaliate by having a bloater named after it, because bloaters cannot be caught at Richmond, but it very probably would not retaliate' even if it could. Why should the clotted cream of which the Friar in Orders Gray sang so touchingly be attributed solely to Devonshire? Surely cream clots just as well in Cornwall, and if it docs why should it not bbe called' after the place of its origin? China clay comes from the same county, so the books say. Why blame it on China then? Surely that country is suffering enough without having a sort of dirt called after it. It really seems that the only thing China can do about it at the moment is to wait until the present incident is over, preserving dignified reticence in the matter, and then taking it up with those responsible. Or maybe Japan when she has thoroughly ¢stablished Chinese independence and ter~ ritorial integrity may be able to do something, about it. They might even name a village in China Sweden, to make matches there, though how that' will affect Great Britain is not at the moment easy to see.
It is to be noticed that an advertiser in these columns has already seen the point to which reference is made. From Tsingtao he announces that "Yorkshire-style hams" are for sale. He readily concedes the point that Yorkshire hams cannot be made in Tsingtao, and thereby deprives the Shantung porker the privilege of dying a really ied death. Talking, however, of food, there is that tender description, ""Canterbury lamb." It conjures up pictures of the pretty little animals gambolling on the grassy swards of the cathedral cloisters, being tenderly herded by archbishops, bishops and other church dignitaries, or do they leave such jobs solely to the rural deans? There is a sinister side upon which too much emphasis should not be laid, of the Chapter solemnly assembling now and again to prick the lists of the lambs to decide which shall xo into the world from Canterbury with that description. Again any eat whether Cheshire or not will grin at a Dover sole, but why Cheshire and why Dover? Any scientist knows. perfectly well that there is no particular significance in a cat being born in the county of cheese, while any ordinary person knows full well that not all soles come from Dover. It is most probable that if all the soles which have ever come from Dover were laid out in a straight line, head to tail, they would reach a certain distance, but it would not be very far. The subject cannot, however, be left without re-
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.