Halo Too Tight "Have a drink, old man," said Jones, "I don't drink" replied Green.
"Well, have a cigarette, then."
"No, thanks. I don't smoke."
"Ever have headaches?"
"Yes, sometimes. Why?" "Your halo's too tight!"
Why?
Two actors who hadn't much use for each other met in a friend's house. They exchanged frigid nods.
"How are you getting along?" asked one.
"Pretty well," replied the other. "Still keeping alive, you know."
The first eyed him steadily for a moment, and then asked casually: "What's your motive?"
Smallest "THIS is a good restaurant, isn't it?" said the Canadian soldier to the waiter of a London cafe.
"Yes, sir; best in town, sir," said the waiter. "It you order a fresh egg, you get the freshest egg in the world, sir. If you order hot soup, you get the hottest soup in the world, sir. It—"
"You've said it," interrupted the Canadian. "I ordered a small steak." woe With U.S. Reporters New slant on the Great Urge from San Francisco "Call-Bulletin":
"He was given a fighting chance to love."
Ina story on a slot machine racket, which it front-paged recently, the Harrisburg (Pa.) "Telegraph" said: "In the event of police interference, the proprietor in which the machine is installed will take the rap."
As a torrential rain pour, punctuated by thunder and lightning, burst down on the waterfront, an assistant city editor of the New York "Journal-American" whistled in appreciation of the spectacle.
"Whew," he remarked. "What a storm! I wouldn't'send a dog out in this weather."
A moment later he signalled a cameraman and said, "Take as many plates as you can carry and see if you can get some good storm pictures."
Recently a man and woman burned to death in an automobile in one of Pittsburgh's sub-Urbs. It was a murder and suicide, It happened about an hour after midnight.
Charles H. Allard, lobster shift man on the "Post-Gazette," worked frantically to get identifications for 3 a.m. make over and failed. He even visited the morgue to view the bodies, but had to write the story without names. Then he went home.
Upon arriving, his wife, Mrs. Bertha Allard, informed him the District Attorney and Chief County Detective, investigating the murder-Suicide, had been there a short time before.
"Why?" asked Mr, Allard.
"That girl who was killed," Mrs. Allard said, "that was Mary—our maid."
The following story is attributed to Carl Magee, fighting editor of the "New Mexico Tribune," now the Albuquerque "Tribune," a Scripps-Howard newspaper. Mr. Magee was later editor of the "Oklahoma News," and at a later date connected with papers in South "Texas.
As editor of the "New Mexico Tribune," Magee stirred up considerable friction in New Mexico politics, and he let his punches fall where it best suited his convenience. At a political meeting someone protested to Mr. Magee that his editorials weren't making for unity in the Democratic Party of the state, and suggested that he "soft-pedal" a little, Magee listened patiently, smiled and said: boys, the more cat fights you have, the more kittens."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.